


The Madness Within Me

by AspiringFanficWriter



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, Eating Disorders, Fear of Death, Food Issues, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Paranoia, Post-Defiance of Duskendale, Short One Shot, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 13:17:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18873964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AspiringFanficWriter/pseuds/AspiringFanficWriter
Summary: After being held captive for half a year, things go downhill fast.





	The Madness Within Me

He stared at his plate with a mix of distaste and fear. It didn't matter that he'd already ordered someone to taste test and make sure there is no poison in the food, it didn't matter that he'd been told it's safe because they could be lying. Aerys knew people wanted to see him dead and have his son and heir on the throne instead, he couldn't trust anyone anymore, least of all Tywin Lannister the current hand of the king. He had seen Tywin enter the kitchens earlier, perhaps to slip poison into the food, it was possible and he was not going to take the chance no matter what the servants told him. Tywin wanted to resign and he hated Aerys so why wouldn't he plot to have him killed? Plotting to have him killed along with his treasonous son, why else would Varys whisper that they have been talking more and more?

Aerys pushes the plate with the uneaten meal away and left the table with an empty stomach for the third day in a row. The third day without food. It was not like he wasn't hungry but he just CAN'T eat when there's such a large possibility that he WILL die if he does. If all he had to do to avoid death by poison was to occasionally go hungry, he didn't care.  
He still didn't care when occasionally became frequent, and frequent became nearly everyday, he wasn't dead and that's all that mattered in his eyes.  
When he started to feel tired and dizzy he feared that someone had managed to put a slow working poison in the food, so he ate even less and after a while the dizziness stopped coming on so frequently. He had one of the servants that brought the meals burned under suspicion of attempted murder after that.

Under the robes his filthy skin stretched tightly over his bones making them stick out painfully in an ugly way, he was grateful that his clothes covered up the ribs, collarbones, arms and the big gap in-between his thighs. The very visible gauntness of his now older looking face hidden behind greasy and slightly thinning hair. The only part he hadn't covered up were his wrists and hands. His now incredibly thin wrists, bony hands and long, uncut, yellow fingernails were not easy to miss when looking at him.

But he was alive, so it was worth it, even if it hurt sitting on the throne, even then he needed to make his clothes smaller so they wouldn't slide off, even when the pain felt like his stomach was eating itself or how he constantly felt cold unless he was burning someone with wildfire, because at least he wasn't going to die from poison.

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing the character, but I tried.


End file.
